Wednesday, 14 December 2016

The rollercoaster of maintenance

I have technically been in remission for over a year now (!!!!!!). Out the doors I went, never looked back on the cancer center, the hospital wards and more importantly, the chemotherapy. I returned for regular check up's and carried on with my, some-what ordinary life. That's what you would expect to happen when your in remission, right? I do wish it was that simple with my diagnosis.

It's funny though, I never had a moment when someone sat me down and told me I was in remission. I continued to attend my treatment appointments as usual and nurses carried on with their job. It was only when I noticed that some members of staff started to speak to me as if I knew there were no leukaemic cells left in my body that I questioned it. I can't remember the exact words that were spoken, but I was in an isolated room, most likely having a treatment complication, and I kind of took in this 'remission' topic and smiled. I didn't cry. I expected myself to, but I didn't. I don't think I was at that relief stage yet as I still had months of intense treatment left, because no matter what stage in your treatment you reach remission with leukaemia, the treatment continues. Also, that wouldn't be the end of it, as after the intense treatment I would be tackling the next hurdle, maintenance treatment.

Thursday, 4 August 2016

One thousand and more rays of sunshine

"Honestly, I'm okay thank you..". 

"Come on Alex.. Anything you want, anything you've dreamed of. Why would you not want to take up this offer? 

Why I didn't want to take up the offer of a 'wish' was simple. I had browsed the rays of sunshine website and the page which showed wishes that had previously been granted, was full of sweet, and incredibly young children with big smiles showing off their brand new iPad. I wanted to sacrifice my wish to allow another child to have an iPad. 

Friday, 3 June 2016

My reminder of the day


Cancer has taught me to not get caught up in the bad moments, but to look forward to what good there is ahead of me. I will always remember the moments I just sat there and thought ..              "Shit, I actually have cancer"
but I looked ahead to the moment of relief I would feel when I would be told I was in remission.

Some problems are only temporary, they will pass.. along with the bad day that came with it. 

Thursday, 28 April 2016

My letter to you

Dear Jordan

I stare at this blank space for ages, finding it hard to know where to start.

Friday, 26 February 2016

Stop & smell the roses

Today, I experienced an annoying occurrence that every female can relate too.. I got a hole in my leggings. Something so small, can bring so much frustrate. Maybe not even the fact of the hole in the leggings, but having to go out of your way to go to a shop and fork out a fiver (its criminal if plain black leggings are any more expensive) for a new pair. No matter how many pairs of leggings you own, there will never be enough. Either someones borrowed a pair, someones stolen a pair, a pair is in the washing basket or they've vanished into thin air.

This particular pair of leggings weren't your average plain pair and I was pretty fond of them. Lets just say I spent alot more than a fiver on them. To put the cherry on top, my boyfriend decided it was funny to stick his finger in the what I thought could be salvagable hole, and make it ten times worst. Thank you Lukas darling.

But this post isn't about making holes in leggings.